A hair museum, a haunted hotel, and “nonsentient entities.”

An accidental ejection, the Breakfast Alarm Clock, and caught “superspeeding.”

A narcotics-smelling horse, rival swans, and save your fingernail clippings.

Cafe squatters, Dominos delivered by submarine, and don’t eat the blue flesh.

Adult binkies, Frankenstein rabbits, and a Corvette for the priest.

The power of poo, 124 mph over the limit, and wolves can’t stand Scarlett Johansson.

Smokey Bear aids an arrest, a brawl at Chuck E. Cheese, and a hungry osprey.

Coors deodorant, radioactive wasps, and the butt-sniffer is back.

Chuck E. Cheese arrested, a co-worker who bites, and the Nebraskan Coast Guard.

Invasive pythons, a nude intruder, and a peacock thief.